


The Way Things Are

by jujus_writing_corner



Series: Whumptober 2019 [31]
Category: Real Person Fiction, Youtube RPF
Genre: A lil bit of suggestive talk, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Mostly just pure fluff, Veeeeeeery mild angst in some parts, Whumptober 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2021-01-17 08:17:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21263882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jujus_writing_corner/pseuds/jujus_writing_corner
Summary: A quiet, lovely morning in Ego Inc.Whumptober Day 31: Embrace
Relationships: Bim Trimmer/Google Oliver, Bingiplier/MarkBop, Darkiplier/Yandereplier, Dr. Iplier/The Host
Series: Whumptober 2019 [31]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1501817
Comments: 4
Kudos: 37





	The Way Things Are

**Author's Note:**

> IT'S NOT NOVEMBER 1 YET IN MY TIMEZONE SHUSH
> 
> Smth nice and sweet to end this harrowing, angst-filled month.
> 
> Enjoy!

The egos are a dangerous bunch, and every day, they invite danger.

But there’s humanity in them, too, gentleness, kindness, love.

Early in the morning, a doctor tries to get out of bed and is stopped by the arms of his blind partner, who pulls him back against his chest.

“Host, I have to get up.”

“It’s too early, stay with me.”

“I love you very much, but I have to get up.”

“If you loved me you wouldn’t leave me all alone.”

Quiet laughter.

“If  _ you _ loved  _ me _ you would just get up, too, and come with me.”

A considered pause.

“I don’t love you that much, dear.”

Louder laughter that makes even the tired blind man smile.

“I’ll see you later to change your bandages, then.” A kiss, soft and light. “Don’t be late, love.”

“I never am, darling.”

In a different bed, someone slides in, joining the sleeping person already there. The newcomer moves aside the wires on the pillow to crowd close, watch the orange emblem on his partner’s chest glow as he recharges. He cups his cheek and sings to him, slow and quiet, using his partner’s sleeping breaths as a metronome. He gets partway through the song, not noticing his partner beginning to stir.

“Can I go where you go…Can we always be this close…forever and ever and ah, take me out, and take me home…you’re my, my, my, my–”

“Mmph, lover.”

“Oh no, I didn’t mean to wake you up. But also, you took my favorite part, you goof!”

A playful shove, more like a tap, and an answering laugh.

“You didn’t wake me, I’m just done charging. What time is it?”

“Early.” A yawn. “Too early.”

“That checks. I’m gonna chill out here for a while.” He wraps his arms around the other, pulling him so close the glow from his own chest emblem can’t be seen. “Go to sleep, I’ll stay.”

“Okay. Love you.”

“Love you, too, babe.”

In a bathroom upstairs, someone showers, singing to himself as he rinses shampoo out of his red hair.

“If you can't handle a heart like mine, don't waste your time with me, if you're not down to bleed, no, oh…”

He doesn’t register when the other person comes into the room, doesn’t even hear the high-pitched ringing that filters in under the sound of running water. He keeps singing to himself under the spray.

“If you can't handle the choking, the biting, the loving, the smothering 'til you can't handle it no more, no – oh!”

He certainly registers the other person’s presence when he wraps his arounds around him from behind, pulling him into a bare chest, cold skin meeting hot.

“ _ Ohayō, _ senpai! I’m surprised I woke up before you today.”

The other man hums, letting his head rest atop the shorter man’s, nosing his wet red hair.

“I didn’t sleep much, I’m afraid. I’m hoping a shower might wake me up.”

“Hmm, maybe.” The red-haired man looks up at his partner, smiles and kisses him, hotter than the shower’s steam. “There’s other stuff that can wake you up, you know.”

“Is that so?”

The taller man suddenly scoops up the smaller, flipping him around so they’re face-to-face, and turning around to let the shower spray hit his back instead of his partner’s hair. His partner, for his part, cries out in surprise as he’s manhandled, grabbing the taller’s shoulders as they become slicked with water.

“Eek, Yami, be careful, we’re gonna slip!!” He wraps his legs around his waist anyway.

“We’re not going to slip.” Something smoky and black weaves around him, bracing the pair against the tile. “And this was your idea, love. It won’t be my fault if we do slip.”

“Rude!”

The redhead laughs, kissing his partner again and letting his hands start to wander. His partner does the same, hands sliding over the redhead’s waist, fingers slotting neatly over the two sets of bruises he left there the night before, making the redhead moan.

“Easy, Yami, I’m still sore, ah…” 

“I don’t think this will help with that, dearest one.”

His tone is playful as he whispers against his partner’s lips.

As the morning gets late, a man in a suit gels up his hair in front of a bathroom mirror. Another man in a yellow shirt watches, lamenting.

“Do you  _ have _ to use hair gel today? It makes your hair all sticky and crunchy and no fun to touch!”

“Yeah, that’s the  _ point. _ If I want my hair to stay styled for filming all day, I need gel – and I need you to not touch it.”

The man in yellow pouts.

“Bimmyyyyy…”

“Nope, not looking at you. Your puppy eyes aren’t gonna make me late, not today.”

_ “Biiiiiim…” _

“You can fluff up my hair all you want when I’m done filming, sunflower. Be patient!”

The suited man yelps as his partner suddenly scoops him up.

“Hey, put me down! You’re gonna wrinkle my suit!!”

“You’re such a diva.” A soft smile. “You’re like a fancy dog show yorkie, all styled with a little ribbon.”

“I’m  _ not _ like a yorkie!! That doesn’t make sense! Aren’t you Googles supposed to make sense?”

“Only when we feel like it.”

The man in yellow beams, still holding his partner like he weighs nothing, and kisses him. The suited man kisses back, letting his hands drift to his partner’s hair, relishing the softness.

“So not fair,” mumbles the man in yellow between kisses, “You get to pet my hair all you want.”

“That’s because you never wear hair gel. If you ever did I wouldn’t stop you.” He pulls away, considering. “I bet you’d look really nice with your hair styled. Maybe you could dress up, too, there’s probably a yellow silk tie in the costume department somewhere–”

“Hey, don’t you have to leave?”

“Oh, sure,  _ now _ you want me to go.” Another laugh, another kiss. “You’d have to let me go for that to happen, though.”

“Hmmm.” A cheeky grin. “I don’t think I wanna do that yet.”

Meanwhile, a set of twins darts around the studio as a moustachioed, pink-haired man directs them.

“Alright, how we lookin’, Jims?”

“Mostly good, Pink Jim!”

“Mostly? Why the “mostly”?”

“Well…” One of the twins rocks on his heels. “You fired your shooty at the lead camera guy yesterday.”

“So?? He was being so rude, with all his “don’t point that thing at me” and “I don’t want to die” nonsense.”

“Maybe, but he can’t film with a shooty pellet in his face, Pink Jim.”

“Ah, I suppose that makes sense. I shot him in the eye, guess he can’t see to film that way.” The man twitches his moustache thoughtfully. “But I promised Bim he’d have a spot in the show today, and if we postpone it, he’ll be pretty annoyed.”

The group is silent for a long moment as they think. Finally, one of the twins begins to reply with his fingers.

_ “Maybe…I could be the lead cameraman for this? Pretty please, Pink Jim?” _

“Yeah, CJ can do it!!”

The twins run up to the pink-haired man, looking up at him with eager, begging puppy eyes. The pink-haired man regards the pair critically.

“You want me to let CJ be the lead cameraman, with no prior notice or training, despite the fact that the majority of his experience lies in filming on the field instead of filming in the studio, and he’s never worked with other camera people on a project before, much less been in charge of a group of them?”

_ “Yes, please!” _

“Yeah, Pink Jim, it’ll be great!!”

A long pause, and then the pink-haired man grins.

“Well sure, I don’t see why not! You two always have such good ideas.” He scoops up both twins in a bear hug, making them laugh. “The other camera people’ll bring you up to speed, CJ, so go get started!”

_ “Right away! Thank you, PJ!!” _

“Get outta here, you rascal!” The pink-haired man laughs as he releases the silent twin, who scampers off to prepare for filming.

“What now, Pink Jim?”

“Go find Bimmy; I made some last-minute script changes we have to go over. What the heck is taking him so long, anyway?”

“Not sure, but I’ll find out!”

“Atta boy!” The pink-haired man lets the last twin go with a robust hair ruffle. “Come back with Bim, and soon, we don’t have a moment to lose!”

Down the hall, a group of androids are running through their morning checklist, when the leader of them lightly clears his throat. The other two, one in green and one in red, look at him.

“So. Oliver’s not here this morning, obviously.”

The younger pair blink in unison.

“…Yes.”

“Right.”

“And…he made me promise to “hug you for him” this morning since he’s not here to do it.”

A long pause. The red-shirted android speaks first, then the green.

“Ew.”

“We really don’t need hugs.”

“I know that.” The leader sighs. “But he insisted, and he’ll definitely know if I lie about doing it. It’s not like we haven’t hugged before.”

“Those were…extreme situations.” The green-shirted android shifts awkwardly, likely remembering one of those extreme situations.

“Are you sure you can’t just…not and say you did?”

“No. Oliver is not that easily fooled, you both know that. So who’s first?”

Another long pause. The leader sighs and moves forward. 

“Fine, both of you then.”

“Hey–”

“Wait–”

The leader grabs them both with one arm each before they can think to run, and pulls them both to his chest. They stay like that for a long moment, both the younger androids frozen, making no movement to hug back. The leader lets them go with a sigh.

“You’re both so dramatic. It wasn’t that bad.”

“Yes it was,” says the android in red, flatly, before walking away. The leader sighs, and the android in green shorts with laughter.

“It really wasn’t,” he admits. “See you later, Google.”

“See you.”

Elsewhere, a masked superhero and a king with peanut butter on his face are finishing a late breakfast in one of the building’s kitchens. The hero, done eating, begins to stand up but stops abruptly, laughing.

“King, uh, I have a buddy sleeping on my lap. What now?”

“Well, now you can’t get up. It’s against my royal decree to wake up a sleeping squirrel.”

“Maybe you could just…pick him up and move him?”

“Disturbing a squirrel without good cause is also illegal.” The king is grinning.

“I have good cause! I have to leave and start my patrol. I’m late enough as it is!”

“Hmmm.” The king ponders, tapping his sticky chin. “Not good enough, sorry. If you remove that squirrel from your lap you’ll be breaking the law.”

“King, c’mon man, I gotta go! I don’t wanna jostle this little guy, but I can’t stay here all day.”

“Why not? We could hang out, Ed can join us, we can just have fun.” The king looks away. “Or you can just leave, and almost die, again.”

“King, please–”

“No,  _ you _ please! Remember when you got hurt so bad you had to get  _ Roxy _ to call Dr. Iplier?? You know Dark could’ve found out about it! He still could find out! That was  _ bad, _ Silver, and it could’ve been a lot worse if you hadn’t been able to get to her place in time.”

There’s a long pause. The hero pets the still-sleeping squirrel on his lap with a gloved hand.

“I’m sorry that happened,” he admits quietly. “But just because I get hurt doesn’t mean I can stop helping people. It’s in my  _ blood, _ King. It’d be like if I asked you to give up your squirrels.”

“I know.” A sigh. “I just worry about you. You’re my friend, and let’s face it, we’re not as popular as the other egos here. If you ever actually died out there…you might not wake up again.” 

“I know, but…but I’ll consider it worth it if I’ve died saving people.”

A pause. The hero nudges the squirrel still in his lap and laughs quietly, awkwardly.

“How is this little fella sleeping through all this?”

The king snorts.

“How big is the squirrel on your lap, exactly? I can’t see them from here.”

“Kind of enormous, honestly. Like two squirrels at once.”

“Ah, that’ll be Clarence. He can sleep through anything.”

The pair share a chuckle, then the hero pauses.

“Wait a minute!” he gasps, “If he can sleep through anything, then I can move him without disturbing him!”

“Oh. That’s…true.”

The hero laughs, and after a moment, the king can’t help but join in.

“Alright, alright, get Clarence off your lap. I’ll issue a royal pardon.”

“Thanks, man.”

The hero carefully lifts the squirrel off his lap with one hand as he stands up, placing him on the table. The squirrel curls up, still asleep, as the hero moves to put his dishes in the sink. The king stands too, following.

“Don’t worry about me.” The hero looks toward the king. “I’ll be alright.”

“You better be.” The king gives the hero a quick, one-armed hug. “I’ll see you when you get back, then. That’s a royal order.”

“Well shoot, now I  _ have _ to come back.” The hero gives a cheeky grin.

The king shoves his shoulder playfully.

“Go save the world already, doofus.”

“Will do! See you later, King. I mean that.”

“See you.”

Finally, in the nursery, a man in a cowboy hat watches a nervous young man holding a baby. His arms are prepared to catch the baby if the young man drops her, but he doesn’t seem nearly as worried about it as the young man is.

“A-Are you sure I’m doing it r-right, Mr. Edgar?”

“Just Ed is fine, kid. And yes, you’re doin’ peachy. Annabelle ain’t even woke up yet, see?”

“I g-guess so.”

The young man rocks the baby cautiously, slowly. Despite himself, he smiles.

“She’s r-really cute.”

“Yep. Her mama brought her to me.”

“Oh no, wh-why?”

“She was only a teenager, and the dad was long gone.” The man in the cowboy hat sighs. “She couldn’t get help from her family, they were barely making ends meet as it was.”

“That’s s-so sad.” The young man tears up, looking at the tiny baby in his arms. “That’s not f-fair for her o-or her mom.”

“Most of the kids here ain’t had fair lives either.” The older man looks at the younger. “You ain’t had a fair life either, if I recall.”

The young man cringes slightly, curling in, self-conscious.

“I-I-I mean, I g-guess…b-but I mean, I’m not…I’m n-not a baby.”

“Nah, you ain’t a baby. But don’t make it fair.”

The young man looks down, staring through the child in his arms. The older man sighs again.

“Ya know, the sooner you accept that you didn’t deserve your cards, the sooner you’ll be able to shuffle the deck and grab new ones.”

A long pause.

“I-I don’t hate my dad. I d-don’t think I could. It feels like everyone w-wants me to, b-but I don’t.”

“I don’t think Annabelle hates her mama, either. That don’t make her situation fair.”

A long pause. The older man claps the shoulder of the younger.

“I keep tellin’ you this stuff all the time, huh? Sorry about that, kid. I’m just…waitin’ for you to figure it out, I guess.”

“Y-Yeah.”

“I ain’t no psychologist, but I’ll do my best to help ya out.”

“Y-Yeah. Um, can I p-put Annabelle down n-now?”

“Sure, right back in her crib, like I showed you before.” 

The young man lays the sleeping baby back in her crib, and she doesn’t so much as twitch as she’s put down. When he stands, he walks into the older man’s chest, putting his arms around him. The older man sputters a little in surprise, but recovers enough to hug back.

“You alright, kid?”

“I’ll figure it out. Eventually. It’s…it’s j-just hard.”

“I bet.” The older man squeezes the younger. “You’ll get there, you’ll figure out you’re a good kid one of these days.”

“Yeah.”

It’s an awkward, sad, strange moment, but neither pulls away for many moments.

Ego Inc. is plagued with awkward, sad, strange moments. But in them all is something sweet, after them all comes fun, love, kindness.

The bizarre family that is the egos is, through it all, still a family.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if the ending seemed rushed, ngl it kinda was ;w;
> 
> But I did it! I completed Whumptober! And oh boy, I have SO MUCH I wanna write about the new boys, just you wait :D


End file.
